S I C T B A
by BigSisterJaniel
Summary: What happens when all the nations get captured by their female counterparts? What happens when the only ones to save them are Canada, Liechtenstein, Finland, the Italies, and other "weak" countries? What happens when these countries snap? What does S I C T B A stand for? When will the captured nations work together? What are fangirls doing in this story? Read to find out...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Germany

America was pushed into the cell, a hood over his head. "DAMMIT, WHAT'S GOING ON!? WHERE ARE MAH NUKES!?" He kicked around wildly.

"A-America san!" Japan consulted from the other cell. "Please calm down!" He tried to consult the American to stop, but with no success.

America kept on thrashing around until a voice said: "Amerika, you will calm down, da?" Russia smiled creepily. He was chained to the wall in a straightjacket, In the same cell as America.

In the same cell with America.

In the _same_ cell with _America._

America screamed. "OH, NONONONONONO! I AM _NOT_ IN THE SAME CELL AS THE COMMIE BASTARD!"

Russia pouted. "But I thought we were comrades. And besides, I am not communist anymore!"

"W-WELL, YOU'RE STILL A CREEPY LITTLE FUCK!"

"Oh Amerika, you're making me blush!"

"What do you mea- EEWW DAMMIT THAT'S GROSS!"

While the two were arguing, Japan turned to his cellmate, who was Germany. "Germany-san, what is going on? I was knocked down in the head while taking pistures of naked women. I did not see my assaulter."

Germany just frowned. "Stop that. Stereotypes are for dummkopfs. And I don't know that either."

"I do." A voice claimed from a cell to their right. It sounded like Estonia... "They were female versions of us, but instead of the normal colored eyes like in my dream, their eyes were red and glowing!"

Germany raised an eyebrow. "Wait... you had a dream where we were all women?"

Estonia sounded like he was nodding frantically. "Yes, and I was the only guy who wasn't genderbent, and everyone was winking and wearing skirts and female China was dry-humping me-"

"MY FEMALE VERSION DID _WHAT_?" China screamed. "THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE-ARU!"

Estonia screamed. "I KNOW, RIGHT?! Anyway, I started to panic when God came and pulled me ou-"

"Waitwaitwait... you were the only guy there... and surrounded by GENDERBENT girls..." Prussia said from another cell. "Kesesese... that sounds so gay and so awesome at the same ti-" BOOM! Death by frying pan.

Japan listened to Estonia's genderbender dream. "I will make a harem hentai with that," the otaku-nation said, pulling out a notepad as he started taking notes.

Germany, while everyone was bickering, was now PISSED. "EVERYBODY SHUT UP! YOU DUMMKOPFS! WE ARE TRAPPED HERE, AND ALL YOU DO IS FIGHT!? " He sighed, exasperated. Everyone stopped, except for Hungary, who was still beating Prussia down with her frying pan. You go girl. "We have to make sure that everyone is here." He took out a pen and notepad from his pocket and started roll call.

"England?"

"Here!"

"France?"

"Ohonhonhon..."

"STOP TOUCHING ME YOU BLOODY FROG!" Apparently those two were in the same cell. Germany sighed. The next few days were going to be really chaotic.

"Italy?"

O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O

After a few minutes, they found out who was there and who wasn't. "Ok everyone, I have good news and bad news," Germany said to the other countries. "The good news is pretty much everyone who is good at war is here. This means that it will be easier for us to are also some people who did not get captured by whoever did it."

"And the bad news?" Switzerland asked from a cell to Germany's right. Germany sweatdropped.

"The bad news is that we rely on the Italies, Taiwan, Finland, what's-his-name, your little sister, and a few more weak countries to break us out."

O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Somewhere in that land above America, Canada sneezed. "Someone's talking about me. It better be a hot girl..."

O*O*O**O*O*O*

**Hello, peeps! This is the first fanfiction I have ever made. Please review, and no flames!** **O yeah! ****Disclaimer: I don't own anything but your souls. *lifts up a jar full of ghosts***


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Canada

"Maple! I'm going to be late again!" Kenada ran into the buiding. He had overslept again, then spent the few minutes he had left to get ready for the G8 staring at Kumarino's cuteness. Then there was traffic because of a mafia of two consisting of a gun toting Liechtensteinian (WTF) and a South Italian with grenades fighting an evil Swiss girl with red eyes, but that wasn't important.

Now he was late. Again.

Cunada burst into the conference room, breathing heavily as he apologized. "I'm so sorry. I have overslept again."

Nobody was there. More importantly, the room was trashed. The chairs and tables were flipped over or hacked into many pieces, the windows were broken, and glittler was all over the place. At first Canada thought that Prussia threw a German Sparkle Party-he shivered at the memory of Austria in skin-tight sparkly pants dirty dancing with Hungary- but the scent of alchohol was nowhere to be found.

Canida warily stepped into the room, but before his foot touched the sparkly ground, a hand roughly covered his mouth and pulled him out of the room.

Canyada struggled greatly, but whoever was holding him was strong... and smelled heavily of pasta...

The person dragged both of them into the closet where France would do... certain things to England and closed the door, letting go of Canadia, who thrashed and panicked.

"Ve, Canada, are you okay?" Candea turned to the man who spoke and screamed. It was a manly scream, of course.

It was Italy, but that wasn't what scared Kamada. It was what his attire. The Italian looked like he was pulled out of a BDSM magazine. He had a black leather jacket with metal chains and a shirt that exposed his chest (that for some reason, had many curly hairs), black skinny jeans, a bowie hat, and knee high combat boots with laces that the Italian couldn't possibly tie, even with Germany's help.

In short, Italy looked badass.

Before Camada could again scream from the extreme mindfuck his brain was going through, Italy slapped his (sexily gloved) hand onto his mouth. "Shut the fuck up! Do you want to be heard?" Italy whispered quickly. Canada shook his head frantically as Italy released him. He was now kinda scared of the badass Italy...

"Italy... what's going on, eh?" Kamnada said(whispered) to Italy, who was observing the janitor closet they were in with great focus.

Mafiatalia turned to him. "I have no idea, but everyone is missing and anyone could be the cause of it. I don't know if they got Big Brother yet... but since Germany isn't here, I have to protect myself from now on," the Italian explained.

Canada was puzzled with Italy's psychology. "But you don't even know who you're going against-"

He was interrupted by the sound of a bomb hitting the building. He instintively ducked and covered his head with his hands and looked at Mafiatalia.

Instead of covering his head and/or running and crying for Germany, he was staring up at the caving celing with a paranoid, almost crazed look. "Shit, they found us," Italy cursed and took out a machine gun from a trash bin. "I though I disabled the tracker!" Canada gave the insane Italian a look of pure "Wut."

"Who?" Kumajirou said, appearing because of Author Powers.

"The fangirls!" Mafiatalia screamed as he threw a grenade at the wall when he could have simply just opened a door. It was a surprise that the building didn't collapse yet...

That one place over America gave him a look of serious "The fudge" until he peeked through a window to see what was going on. Sure enough, he saw an overweight fifteen-year-old cosplaying as America driving a helicopter which was shooting Russian nukes at the building (the type that wipes out all life except sunflowers) with a Belarusian like expression on her face. Go figure.

"Why do we have fangirls?" Canida asked Italy.

"Japan made a-" Mafiatalia was interrupted by a nuke hitting the building.

Cannda was sobbing in the corner now. He was just so confused. One minute he was running to a conference building late, the next thing he was getting bombed by fangirls with psychotic Italian and no chance of help. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Canoda yelled through the bombing at Mafiatalia. Mafiatalia was edging towards the opening he had made in the wall.

"I'M GOING TO JUMP!" He screamed at Kandia, "SO THAT THE BUILDING WON'T COLLAPSE ON ME!"

"WHAT THE MAPLE? WE'RE 5 STORIES UP!" Canida yelled.

Italy looked at him like he was the crazy one. "DON'T WORRY! THE CONCRETE WILL BREAK MY FALL! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!" Bam. Political statement.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"However, his warning was ignored. Mafiatalia jumped off yelling pasta.

Canandia watched him as he fell, landing on the concrete ground with a sickening "CRUNCH." Candyna winced at the mental pain. The Italian's legs were bent at a strange angle, but surprisingly, he kept going, dragging his crippled legs with his arms. "COME ON ARMS, DON'T FAIL ME NOW!"

To America's hat's relief, the bombing stopped. That one guy that I'm writing about sighed in relief, but his faced immediately obscured in horror as Italy was immediately swarmed by fangirls.

"OMEEGOSH ITALY YOU LOOK HAWT AND TOTALLY SEXY!"

"MARRY ME!"

"I HAVE PASTA!"

"I'M PART GERMAN, ITALY!"

"I LOVE YOU, ITALY!"

Kanata paled as he heard Italy's tortured screams. The rabid fangirls were molesting, eating, pulling him apart, and taking shredded parts of his body into nearby allies.

Suddenly, Italy submerged from the sea of fans, his hair waving sexily (that made the fangirls squeal) and pulled out the machine gun, a crazed look on his mangled face. Kandia paled until he was transparent (LOL) at what he was going to see. Sweet, cowardly Italy, who ran at first sight of trouble, who couldn't even tie his own shoelaces, was mass-murdering the fangirls.

"VEVEVEVEVEVEVEVEVE"

...Then again, he was pretty badass in Hetaoni...

END OF CHAPTER TWO! Not my best work, but I hope you enjoyed Mafiatalia. THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! The part with Estonia was from the webcomic strip called "I was overwhelmed by heroines," where Estonia meets Nyotalia. If you look closely, you will see everyone winking and China dry humping Estonia. Also, EPISODE 1 OF HETALIA SEASON FIVE IS ALREADY ON YOUTUBE! The animation got much better, but it takes some getting used to. When you watch it, please tell me what you thought.

I'm not really sure how the other countries would be like... please suggest how hardcore they should be like in your reviews... NO FLAMES THOUGH!

Disclaimer: Hidekaz Himuraya owns Hetalia not me. That lucky bastard...


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